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and so you say 


i masturbate in deserted cathedrals

to relieve my haunted hidden conscience

from the anxious eyes of the children

my stand is shaking as a man

i stumble in my dreams

a walking contradiction


i am not to be trusted

i wet my bed in the unforgiving hours


i sleep with tender infants

rejected by their pregnant mothers

who impose their thirst on rich perverts

i protect my weak stand with constant lies

that i was born and raised with a dozen kittens

inside a wooden suitcase

in a cheap motel in southend

that my only toy as a child

was the hairy penis of an alien neighbour

the result of my small brains

a victim for blind sex

in the dark quick alleys of the makeshift neighbourhood

i will die grinning with a fat distorted belly

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